“Personal Semiotics provides a powerful framework for analyzing the obstacles that impede our success and happiness in any area of life while also being a unique tool for discovering our success codes. Harold Kelley has done an extraordinary job of translating this valuable and timeless analysis tool into a clear set of steps that anyone can use to tackle their greatest challenges and goals as they pursue their quest for a better life. I plan to use this methodology with my clients, family, and friends.”

– Kim Giangrande, SPHR, GPHR, Principle and Chief Innovator, Intuitive HR

“Harold Kelley is a mighty spiritual warrior who has opened his heart, examined his life, and extracted wisdom that will speak to and guide so many of us on our path to a more authentic and meaningful life. This inspired guidebook to self realization — presented in a clear, concise, honest, intelligent, loving and accessible way — is a great service to the individuals whose lives it will help transform and to all those they will touch.”

– Natasha Raymond, Founder, Yoga Space, Brookfield, CT

“I’m fascinated to see a methodology that has worked so well for brand strategy now applied with such panache to the world of personal development and self-realisation. This book is an essential introduction to personal semiotics for anyone who believes in the ‘ability to recognize and interpret signs as a divine gift that every conscious being possesses.’ Read this book and be enlightened. Be amazed at the potential and power that semiotics can unleash.”

– Dr. Malcolm Evans, Founding Partner, Space Doctors, Brighton, UK

“With Personal Semiotics, Harold Kelley has made the process of self-discovery accessible to those who need it most: the newly jobless, the first-time entrepreneur, and anyone else needing help charting a course toward personal success. With its practical, step-by-step program of thoughtful introspection, Personal Semiotics helps each of us illuminate that path which leads toward triumph and fulfillment, using essential signs and symbols of our lives that we’ve chosen to ignore — until now.”

– Barbara Sibley, Entrepreneur and Founder, Sibley Professional Services

Add your own comments in the Comments Box below so others can learn from your experience.

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3) In which direction are you headed?

Directional trends are critical in your mapping process. If you think intuitively about your position or options, you may recognize that a certain position is likely to change. It is being influenced by external forces or internal feelings that will alter its state.

For example, a job that provided “stability and high income” (if these were your career measurement criteria) may be at risk if your company was just acquired or its sales goals were missed. Meanwhile, a relationship you categorized as “plutonic and fun” may seem to be moving toward “romantic and fun” if your study-group partner just broke up with a significant other.

Wherever it applies, draw a small directional arrow that starts from your plotted position and points toward the quadrant or position that seems appropriate. This small step can be incredibly revealing when it confirms what your subconscious may have already sensed; it should contribute significantly to your analysis and decision making.

And remember that you have the ability in most situations to affect outcomes. For example, if you’re feeling uneasy about job stability, maybe a conversation with your boss or a change in your role, behavior or even your employer can keep you in your desired quadrant. And in the relationship example, maybe you’re already committed to someone else and will have to work harder to resist the overtures of another.

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2) Where are you now?

Once you’ve defined your success measurements, you’re ready to apply them. Use your first measurement pair to label the first Paradox Map.

For your first chosen measurement, take the positive aspect (if it applies) and place it in the label spot at the top of the map. Put its opposite in the label spot at the bottom. Then take your second positive attribute and write it in the label spot on the left of the map. Its opposite goes on the right. If your measurements don’t have a positive versus negative quality (such as serious versus relaxed), you can use the top and left labels for either measurement.

Next, determine what you’ll be plotting. If it’s one aspect of your life overall – for example, your physical, emotional or intellectual health – you would plot this as a single position on the map. You might do this by writing your initials and drawing a circle around them to indicate their location within your chosen quadrant.

Observing your position, you may find yourself at one extreme for one measurement but straddling the line between two quadrants for another. You also might find yourself in the exact center of the map if you’re midway between all measurements. Wherever you land is OK. It reveals your current status.

At other times, you may be plotting a range of options such as career choices, investment choices or relationships. It is possible to plot each in the Paradox Map and analyze how they compare in terms of your evaluation criteria.

By plotting your options in a Paradox Map, the Personal Semiotics process can be a phenomenal aid in decision making.

Here is an example of a completed Paradox Map. (Please keep in mind that this map is not financial advice. It is one person’s assessment at one point in time.)

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1) How do you measure success?

In whatever aspect of your life you consider, there are criteria that seem appropriate as success measurements. Off the top of your head, you can usually come up with three to four, and if you think longer, perhaps as many as a dozen or more will emerge.

The first step in the Personal Semiotics process is the most important. It defines how you’ll measure success, assess yourself, and evaluate your options.

You don’t really need any help for this step. Just take a few moments to brainstorm and let your ideas flow. Write down all of the criteria by which you would measure success for the life area upon which you’re focused. It is important not to slow yourself down by editing or judging each concept you list, as there is no wrong answer.

The next part of this exercise is to write the opposite of each concept — beside each to the right. Once you’ve completed your brainstormed list and its opposites, you can be more selective.

Upon review, you may find that some criteria seem repetitive; they’re just synonyms to describe a similar concept. Others may be slightly different, but selecting both for the Paradox Maps you’ll complete later may not give you the opportunity to learn enough about yourself, your situation or your options. Your goal is to pick a small but diverse set of measurement criteria that are relevant to you.

At least two pairs of measurements is ideal, three allows you to go deeper. After three or four, the value of the exercise may diminish as you select your most relevant, non-duplicated measurements first.

Here is an example of success measurements for relationships.

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